The Power of Words

  The goal of right speech is very hard.  The other night after I yelled at my kids for the enormous pile of toys on the train table that in many ways is really my fault because I haven't consistently and realistically taught them how to keep their toys organized and put away, I realized that this type of outburst leads to a bout of self derision.  Even as I chastised them for taking off their clothes and leaving them on the floor, after the words left my mouth I remembered that I have always been just like that, and although I no longer leave my clothes on the floor, I tend to pile them on a chair, the couch, the top of my dresser. Even at work last night by closing time as people suddenly had questions needing answers when I was ready to go home, my speech, my whole demeanor begins to close up like a turtle.  Not rude, not mean, but less than helpful, certainly less than enthusiastic.  And yet I know what power all those words and non-verbal messages have.  My interaction with another person can change their day, could, under the right circumstances, change their life.

So here is another powerful idea, not my own, but it's floating out their in the ether these days.  There are times that I don't want to do this work, this work of continually trying to be a better person, of trying to reign in my temper and my eating habits and all the ways small and large that I am not kind. In my darker moments I think that I am not worth it.  Who am I to think that I could be a good person?  That I could make a difference?  But you don't do this work for yourself to be some kind of a saint.  You do this work for the benefit of all beings, to make the world a better place.  You do this work because your words and actions can affect someone's day, and that can have a ripple effect on a whole bunch of other people/beings as well.  So when I come back to that place, that dark place where I don't think I'm strong enough or worth it, I need to remember that it's not all about me, even if it has to start with me since that's all I can really change.

The meaning of yoga is to yoke.  So the work is not just to get onto my mat, which I need to do momentarily, but also to yoke, to reign in my smaller, petty self, and refrain from harm.